In it, I discussed how I came to terms with the fact that I might be asexual. I received quite a few emails, and most of them asked the same questions, I feel like I may be asexual or I feel like my spouse is, how do I talk to them about it? To answer that question, I had to tell them how my spouse and I got to the point where we could talk about sex. At first when we began our conversations on the subject. There was a lot of arguing. He felt like he was getting nowhere with me and to be honest, he was right.
It is perfectly okay to keep some things private, especially fantasies that you enjoy on your own and do not care to share with someone else. But in any relationship, whether for one night or many years, there are things about which you do need to communicate. Talking about sex openly makes for relationships that are more fun and satisfying. People sometimes think that if their partner really loved them or cared about them the other person would do exactly what they wanted. But none of us is a mind reader!