There are 41 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. Are you finding that sex is either not pleasurable or simply painful? Maybe you're worried about how much your partner is enjoying it? Whatever the case, if you work on it, you can improve your sex life. Steps Setting up for Success 1 Use safer sex practices. It can be easier to relax and enjoy yourself if you feel confident that you are practicing safer sex.